DON'T ASK FOR ADVICE, AS A SMACK IN MOUTH SOMETIMES OFFENDS

Being the Managing Director of an agency that looks after around 150 of the UK’s top voice over artists means that I am often asked to advise people about how they can embark on a similar career.  One of the primary reasons for setting up Excellent was to provide a better service to artists than I had received when I was just a jobbing v/o. Part of that process is to try to listen to every demo reel that we are sent – regardless of whether we have asked for it or not – and to advise honestly and politely. It’s a policy that was instilled in me after meeting Peter Powell, the founder of one of the UK’s most successful management agencies of the last 25 years – James Grant Group.

As a young thrusting and somewhat precocious presenter, I figured I needed a good agent. In the late 80's I interviewed one of James Grant’s biggest stars - Philip Schofield - for my weekend radio show. Unlike so many agents that I had to deal with to book my celebrity interviews,  I found them so helpful that I knew I wanted to be on their books when I made the move to Channel 4 myself in 1987. Having written to him, Peter kindly invited me to his own home, near Barnes in West London, and spent a full afternoon going through my highly over written CV – pointing out where I was going wrong.  Sadly, my skills weren’t of the calibre to appeal to Peter and his team for representation, but I never forgot the time that he spent – unnecessarily as he was unlikely to recruit me - offering helpful advice and pointing me in the right direction.

On founding Excellent Talent (www.excellenttalent.com) in the mid 1990’s, I knew that I wanted to operate using a similar philosophy. To be facilitator for our talent – not a gateway through which the privileged can access them – and to offer advice and honest, constructive criticism to anyone who asked for it. Over the years I have lost count of the number of demos I have listened to and the personal letters or emails I have written in response and hours spent helping those even though there was no direct benefit to us. On a few occasions, people we have turned away have fully understood the critique made of their work. They have taken on board what they needed to do and come back again some two or three years later and tried again. In general they cite the fact that it was our initial response and advice that made them return to us after they had gained greater experience. That’s when we know we are doing the right thing.

Recently I received an email from a man called  - well it doesn’t really matter what he was called, as he probably would prefer to remain anonymous after what happened. It read as follows:

"Hi, I am looking to take up a hobby that pays in between shifts at work.  I am a 30 year old male from Dundee in Scotland and am currently working as a wholetime firefighter working a shift pattern of 4 on/ 4 off.  I have no idea if my voice is suitable and have no previous experience in the industry.  I do have public speaking experience through my present employment.  I am not looking to make a career out of this type of work as I enjoy being a firefighter and do not want to give it up, I am only looking to do work when it fits in with my current hours with the intention of earning a little extra cash doing something that interests me.  Could you advise me on what I should do in order to obtain voice over work.

I look forward to your reply."

It’s not an unusual request – but it does contain one of my bugbears. The idea that my profession and that of the 150 others who we represent can be some sort of part time hobby, demeans the professionalism and skill within the industry. It’s a job that suffers from the fact that everyone has a voice and the majority of people can read – and therefore read aloud. This means that some people think that they can simply pick up a script and do a voice over – especially if they have a “nice” voice. I normally reply that although I can play Greensleeves and a bit of the Moonlight Sonata on the piano, I wouldn’t attempt to appear at The Royal Albert Hall and give a virtuoso concert performance. Professional voice overs are that skilful, in comparison to someone who can simply read out loud. I must admit that I feel slightly pompous in taking that stance, but if I have learned anything about this profession from both artist’s and agent’s point of view, it is that there is a reason that so few people make it as professional voice artist – and that is because it’s a remarkably difficult skill. Maybe it was the devil within me - or simply because I was fed up with writing the ususal placatory and polite reply, but I penned an answer, late at night, as follows:

"Dear XXX

All the advice we can provide you with is on our website under the section that’s says “Advice” at www.excellenttalent.com .

Please note that voice over is a career and not a hobby and as with any career you cannot expect to walk into it without taking the time to learn what is required and how the industry works. If you think it is simply about reading aloud then you should do a lot more research.

An agency represents the cream of the crop and does not audition new voices. The artists who come to us for representation are already working and have established a back catalogue of work already.

Furthermore no agent can tell if you have any vocal skill from meeting you or talking to you on the telephone. The only way we can know if you have what it takes is to listen to your professionally produced demo

Finally - I've been looking for a job that pays money between voice-overs and I've always fancied being a fireman. Rescuing cats from trees, helping old ladies across the road and having girls swoon all over me seems like a great thing to do in my spare time. I'm not looking to make a career out of this work - and only want to do it when it fits in with my current hours, with the intention of earning a little extra cash doing something that interests me.  Could you advise me on what I should do in order to obtain part time work as a hobby fireman?

Voice over work is a profession - that involves professionally trained artists. To assume that anyone can do your job is - as you might judge from my reply - somewhat demeaning.

Sincerely

JON BRIGGS"

It was - I now admit - something of a glib reply - but I hoped he would take it with a pinch of salt. An immediate reply was shuttled back within hours. The riposte read:

"Hi, thanks for the late reply, must have taken a while judging by the length of it, must have a lot of time on your hands, business slow?

If you would like to be a part-time fire fighter then contact your local fire service and ask about becoming a retained fire fighter, as with any job in the whole world, a certain degree of training is required but be prepared, you would most certainly have to do a little more than rescue cats from trees.  You would have to be willing to put your life on the line at any given moment to rescue complete strangers, entering buildings in +700 degree heat wearing no more than thick clothing and 25-30 minutes worth of oxygen.  Retained fire fighters do this job in their spare time or as a hobby that pays.
  

Something tells me though, that helping others is beneath you as you seem to think that helping old ladies across the road is a job for the fire and rescue service, but surely any decent person would do this?  Not sure if you would have the guts for this job anyway.

I only asked for personal advice from you (maybe how you started and what companies look for from voice actors ), the website offers advice on how to be noticed from an agency.  I never implied that anyone could do your job, I'm just saying that I would give it a go without forking out a small fortune on a course offered by some run of the mill dodgy website.

I have looked a great deal into the world of voice acting, I have learned a great deal, today I learned something new, that right at the top of the pile there is always at least one pompous prick, well, they say every day's a school day eh?

Don't bother replying to this, I won't be reading any more of your brain farts.

Cheers"

Something told me I had touched a nerve. And I probably shouldn’t have replied – but I found it hard to resist:

"Dear XXX

I write this safe in the knowledge that you won't be reading it.

Since you regard long messages as a sign that someone has time on their hands, I shall keep this brief.

1. I have a vast amount of respect for all emergency service workers. In fact - if it were up to me - they would be the ones with the million quid bonuses not the bankers - it is a profession I know I could not perform - and have nothing but admiration for those that do. However I was making the point that demeaning a profession that which involves dedication and several years of training is a pretty stupid idea. My job is no more of a hobby than yours. Judging from your reaction you didn't like someone suggesting that any more than I did.

2. Don't ask for information gratis from a professional if you don't want to hear their advice. Strangely enough - just because you write to me does not mean that I owe you a reply. I may well be a pompous prick - but at least I took the trouble to write back even if you didn't like what you read.

3. Professional v/o's need to be available whenever the client wants them and are unlikely to work much or at all if they are only free 4 days out of 8. If you had learned "a great deal" about voice acting (as you call it - which incidentally is something entirely different) then you would know this. There is no such thing as a voice over who does it as a hobby - not if they want to work on anything remotely commercial.

4. Get a sense of humour. You'll need it in a profession which rejects you as much as this one does.

As you will see from the lateness of this reply - business is good and the only time I have to reply to people like you is now. But at least I have - which is more than you will get from most agents.

Aren't brain farts normally caused by mental indigestion?

JON BRIGGS"

I hasten to add – that my normal level of politeness went out of the window – but the correspondent's reply made me see red! In fact on publishing it, I don't think either of us comes out of it particularly well and I don’t think my actions were nearly as professional as they should have been, but sometimes you just can’t help yourself. The point I was trying to make, was that when you seek advice, especially when it is of little benefit to the advisor, try not to demean the profession you are enquiring about. In my reply, I was illustrating that fact, by doing exactly that to his highly valued profession. As you might be able to judge - he liked it even less than I did!

Should you wish to write to me for advice – I will do my utmost to maintain a professional demeanour at all times – but if you don’t like my response – don’t give me a hard time, I’m just being honest, oh and it might just end up on here for all to read....

WHY DO YOU STAND IN AN ELECTION – BUT SIT AS AN MP?

Musings on a strange choice of career...

The general election of 2010 is the 7th election I will have voted in. I belong to a core group of journalists who have been able to see how privileged we are to have such freedom in our democracy. Anyone who has witnessed political systems that restrict your right to vote or your freedom to choose who to support, will find it hard to sympathise with those who cannot be bothered to take time to put a cross on their ballot paper.

I deeply object to people who don’t vote, similarly those who want a “none of the above” column to register their disapproval. To me, they belong to the masses who are content to moan about how the country is run, but never do anything about it. Sitting on the sidelines criticising is the province of the overweight armchair football fan. If it’s so easy - why don’t you try it?

Even worse are those who announce proudly that they can’t be bothered excusing their actions by saying  “well they’re all the same aren’t they?”. It’s not entirely their fault. They’re fed a rather paltry diet of information about what the job actually involves. Sadly the tabloid press would have us believe that the people who run the country can have their work condensed into a few paragraphs. Politics is a messy business and as such it needs voters to indulge it. To fully understand government policy and the vastness of the statistics involved in it, requires concentration. Something the majority are not prepared to give. Newspapers readily throw numbers around as they are the easiest way to grab people’s attention. £1billion budget deficit for the NHS! Damn that sounds like a big number - until you understand that it’s just 1% of the health service budget. The Treasury error for forecasting total budget deficit is 2 percent of government spending – so a £1billion deficit means the NHS has performed twice as well as the government as a whole. Few businesses would think hitting a financial target to within 1% anything other than management of the most brilliant precision.  If you want to know just how distorted statistics can be made to look by newspapers – you should read “The Tiger That isn’t” by Michael Blastland and Andrew Dilnot – from whom that illustration is taken. It really will make you read headlines in a completely different way.

In general I have some sympathy with newspaper readers as I believe they are often mislead by journalists who have an agenda. Having worked in newsrooms up and down the country - mainly for the BBC - I can honestly say that  I have never been asked to give a political slant to any story I have written or any feature that I have broadcast. So it sticks in the throat every time the Daily Mail leaps upon a story about the BBC and castigates it for inaccuracy or profligacy. I sometimes wish that there was a requirement for newspapers to have a red banner at the top of their front page - declaring that the views represented inside belong to the political agenda of the proprietor and you should be aware that other views are also available! I chose to be a broadcast journalist for the precise reason that the information I create relies on seeing or hearing the words of the person themselves, not reporting them third hand and making them say something they didn’t. To this day, I cannot recall a single magazine or newspaper feature that I have been interviewed for, that hasn’t misrepresented what I actually said.

As a broadcaster, I refereed political debates for both the BBC and LBC. In my cub reporter days working for the BBC in Oxford, I learned very quickly which MP’s would be given airtime. Those that regularly made themselves available would be the first to be called. When presenting a breakfast show, as I did having just turned 20, knowing that you had a reliable and valid viewpoint that you could call on at 5.30 in the morning made all the difference to who you’d ring first for comment on overnight developments. Tony Baldry - then Tory MP for Banbury (and still standing in 2010 some 25 years later) wasn’t always as helpful as Oxford East’s Steve Norris (who later went on to fight as the Tory candidate in London’s Mayoral election). As a result Steve got almost twice the on-air exposure that Tony was given . Douglas Hurd (Witney) and Michael Heseltine (Henley) were also accostable, although as more senior politicans, negotiation had to be done with their minions rather than directly. An interview with “Tarzan” himself, for Radio 4’s The World This Weekend, at the height of the Westland affair was enlivened by the presence of a radio controlled helicopter on his desk. I was too junior to dare ask whether I might try flying it.

I also covered the London political scene on LBC on a Sunday morning, and my regular guests included Charles Kennedy (prior to his leadership and his alcohol confessions) Shaun Woodward (before he crossed the floor to join the New Labour) and the always affable Steve Pound (an ever present face in the media - he’ll happily turn up to the opening of an envelope if it means getting publicity). The debates were always wide ranging and full of spin - but it was always apparent that the people around the table had the courage of their convictions and believed they were making a real difference in attending the House of Commons.

The influence that the newspapers have on the public’s voting habits shouldn’t be underestimated. Kelvin McKenzie’s Sun newspaper headline in 1992 - placing Neil Kinnock’s head in a lightbulb accompanied with the words: “Will the last person to leave the country please turn out the light?” has to be the single most damaging piece of political journalism of the 20th Century. True, Kinnock had done himself no favours by appearing pre-emptively victorious at a Labour Party rally in Sheffield some days earlier, but anyone who was undecided on the day of the election merely had to catch sight of the headline as they passed the newsstand and they were absolved of having to understand the reasoning behind the words. They simply took it at face value. Any politician, let alone a party leader, deserves better than that.

Service providers will tell you that any form of testimonial from a happy customer can impact hugely on a potential purchasers decision about whether to use the service - whether you know the person who made the recommendation or not. The fact that someone has said that they were “fabulous” is enough for you to believe that their service will also be “fabulous” when you use them yourself - regardless of the fact that you’ve never met the person who recommended them and probably never will - nor will you ever know if they were capable of  making a reasoned adjudication.  McKenzie knew that a poor testimonial will damage the chances of any future business - whether people trusted the Sun’s point of view or not.

Sadly - this acceptance of the definitive assessment by commentators means that politicians become increasingly wary of giving them any opportunity to criticise. David Cameron’s recent appearance at a friend’s wedding, dressed in a suit while all the other male attendees were wearing morning garb, was clearly designed to avoid any association with the similarly attired photographs of his University days, when he was part of the privileged Bullingdon Club. Not his desired choice - but an example of how our demands for perfect politicians propel them to behave in abnormal ways.

By treating politicians as if they should behave with all the attributes of a latter day saint, we do them a disservice. In effect we end up with the politicians we deserve. If, every time they demonstrate human foibles we self righteously bombard them with criticism, then we only have ourselves to blame. “Bigotgate” was remarkable – not for the fact that someone might not agree with the sentiments of a voter and use a judgemental term to describe them in a private conversation, but because it highlighted what happens when you’ve been surrounded by the trappings of power for too long. Gordon Brown – like many others who attain high political status – feels that the voters are in general beneath him. Despite his apology – he illustrated clearly that voters are a bit of nuisance when it comes to running the country, especially if they don’t listen to you and immediately agree. Becoming a politician isn’t so much about serving the populous, as pushing through your philosophies and exerting your power. As a broadcasting colleague once said to me - you should be just that bit suspicious of anyone who decides to stand for election as an MP as they truly believe that they have the right to tell others what to do.

It was an aspect of my father’s parliamentary career that always amused me. He long harbored an ambition to enter Parliament. Peter Gold (my surname was taken from my stepfather when my Mother remarried) stood for the Liberal Democrats in 1987, 1992 and 1997. He was the Lib Dem’s Education spokesman - despite only being a PPC (Prospective Parliamentary Candidate) in the days when there simply weren’t enough LibDem MP’s to cover all the departments they needed a spokesperson for. You could say that he laid some of the ground work for Nick Clegg - as he fought the Sheffield Hallam seat on two of his unsuccessful appearances on the hustings. In fact such was his political skill, had he still been fighting in these days of LibDem ascendance, there’s every chance he would have realised his dream. My Father moved to the West Country after divorcing his second wife and fought his last battle in the constituency of Wells, giving the Tory MP David Heathcote-Amory the fright of his life and a majority of just 528 votes.  Sadly if he had stayed in Sheffield, he would have benefitted from the biggest swing to the Lib Dems in the country. It was enough for him to give up his political ambitions.

Having watched it first hand, you should never underestimate the emotional distress that losing a political campaign can have on the individual and their loved ones. While we have seen MP’s exposed publicly and many humiliated by their arrogance and lack of social morals – it’s often been a tough ride for them to attain public office and it can be swiftly removed from them. Spare a thought then for all those standing for election next week who have little hope of making it to Westminster. Far more will fail in the early hours of May 7^th than will succeed. Some will have given up their jobs to make time to canvass. Others will have their lifelong hopes dashed in a single declaration. And after the emotional rollercoaster ride of standing for election in the campaign – no wonder they need to sit as an MP.