Sunday 23 December 2012

MOTHER 1.0

The Christmas adverts are full of maternal hardship and slavery.  Father Christmas is sooo last century - Christmas does not happen without a Mother apparently, so I thought I would add my own contribution to what has now become Mothers Day Part 2 - "This Time it's Festive..." I wrote this for a lovely friend of mine who was confronted by her son...one of twins....

Dear Twin 2.0

It has come to our attention that you have been a long time user of Mother 1.0. As you may well know, Mother 1.0 is not an upgradeable application – due to the large processing requirement placed on the Motherboard - however we do recommend that other applications are used alongside Mother 1.0 to enhance its capabilities. Mother 1.0 is possibly one of the most robust applications to ever have been produced by Parent Corps, and since it is now regularly required to operate without Dad 8.6, has become self-sufficient and extremely stable.

If you have not yet installed Washing Up 3.7 or Tidy My Room 4.2 then you may find that Mother 1.0 runs far more efficiently if you do so. Customers who installed these apps also purchased Walk the Dog 1.2 and Make the Bed 9.1, although it should be noted that if Mother 1.0 has been fitted with Freshly Washed Kitchen Floor 1.7, then this can be incompatible with Walk the Dog 1.2, especially if returning directly via Home Page, as Home Page can run Muddy Dog 4.0 and Puddle 2.1 without warning.

If Mother 1.0 has been functioning happily without the presence of Dad 8.6, it should be noted that you can now share information with New Male Friend 4.5 as the two are directly compatible. This may require the installation of Extra Make Up 1.1 and Dress for Dinner 5.0. While this can improve the smooth running of Mother 1.0, it can sometimes result in your subscription no longer running routine operations such as Meals 3.1 or Ironing 3.2. In these cases you may find it very useful to create a full scale back up via Girlfriend 1.0 or as an extra safety measure installing Washing Machine Operator 10.5.

Thank for using Mother 1.0 and we hope that you have many happy years of service.

Sincerely

Parent Corps.